Girls may wanna have fun, but the gays simply go out and get it done. And what is the fuel behind our joy? Our music is better than yours. Here’s the Top Ten Gay Songs to blast on your boom box in celebration of equality:
1) “Single Ladies” by Beyonce. Now that it’s legal we all need to get that ring, hunty!
2) “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge. Other than being a disco classic, the 90s gays reclaimed this song when it resurfaced in the opening sequence of “The Birdcage”. And as Mother Ru said in Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, “as gay people we get to choose our family.” Yes ma’am.
3) “Joyful, Joyful” from Sister Act 2. I don’t know a single gay who doesn’t know the choreography to at least parts of this song. And the final frontier where the gays need to reclaim equality is with God and the Church. We’re coming for you, Pope. #allTallshade
4) “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” by Sylvester. From his outrageous dress to his pioneering efforts to fight AIDS, Sylvester is one of the greats. And I dare you to try and sit still when you hear that bass line.
5) “Call Your Girlfriend” by Robyn. Now that the gays are legal it’s time to dump your beards. Those girls will be grateful in the long run and probably help you shop for your matching groom tuxes and pink bow ties. #onceafaghag…
6) “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. Did Puffy know what he was doing when he remixed this song on “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems”? I’d like to think so. Stomp through the Park with this one.
7) “Let’s Have a Kiki” by the Scissor Sisters. It’s Pride weekend, our rights are finally being acknowledged…let’s have a motherf***king kiki to end all other kikis.
8) “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. I know, a bit obvious. But you know what they say: if the high heel fits…
9) “I’m Every Woman” by Whitney Houston. No gay celebration is complete without a fierce drag queen number. (Sorry Phi Phi O’Hara, they have to be fierce). Plus, now all us golddigger gays can say we’re desperate housewives as well.
10) “Get Happy” by Judy Garland. Miss Thang started it all when she up and died in 1969. We should get happy and honor her today. I’m sure she’s toasting her martini glass to us now.